an open letter to president obama and congress

Dear President Obama and Members of Congress,

I am a 32 year old business owner, home owner, father, and husband living in Wyoming, Ohio. Your actions in 2009, and proposed actions for the coming years are why I write.

The biggest problem with any given industry in America is your involvement. Government oversight and greedy taxation are the core reasons why industries of any type do not innovate as much as they could. In short: you hamper progress, and need to remove yourself from the situation.

My tax bill, which I pay 4 times per year, is the single largest expense for my business and personal life. If the federal govt. stopped bleeding me, and reduced my tax bill to a flat tax of 10%, I could hire 2 full time employees tomorrow.

Please know that you do not create jobs – I do. I know it feels good to get on the stump every 2, 4 and/or 6 years and talk about the jobs you “helped” create, but let’s be honest: You really just get in the way of the people who are actually creating the jobs. You are not in the field, sitting across a desk, writing proposals, or pressing flesh of prospects knowing that your employees’ pay check depend on growing and sustaining your cash flow.

No, instead you think up, write and pass laws that get in our way. You tax us and reap the profits. You are greedy and inefficient. If the USA Fed. Govt. were a publicly owned company (oh the irony), your stock would be junk. But since you get the Populist stamp of approval from dolts who might as well be chanting “4 legs good, 2 legs bad,” you are perceived as the good guys.

You’re not. You are a pain in my ass.

Regarding health care:  Currently I buy a private policy for my family, and it is an HSA. We’ve had it for almost 2 years, and it’s fantastic. It’s cared for my son since he was 2 months old, and covered a lot of my wife’s recent leg surgery which under your proposed plan would have been considered elective surgery – she no doubt would still have the ailment today if we had your proposed plan.

Please walk slowly away from your hopes of health care reform. It’s a really bad idea for myriad reasons that any non-political hack can plainly see.

I realize that disagreeing with an administration headed by a guy who happens to be black will no doubt earn me the “racist” tag you and your zombies are so fond of dishing out, but that’s a topic for another day. Just know that I know how this will play out, and I couldn’t care less. What I do care about is an obese government asking me to give up more of the pie I and those I hire earn and make. Please go.

thank you, death

This summer might very well go down as the “summer of perspective, thanks to death” for me. My grandpa’s death seems to take on a new dimension every day for me. I thought I had the grieving thing under control, that I was processing it healthily, and yet my counselor’s pre-death prediction rings truer each day: That men typically grieve via anger/irritability.

In other words, I’m pissed off a lot lately, or just irritable. But being an eternal optimist, I’ve tried to use it, tried to harness the perspective.

Someone recently told me that when you experience a ‘big death’ of a close loved one, the perspective gained afterward is something that usually aides in bringing about life-changing decisions. For me, I see new relationships formed, new friendships forming that I simply cherish. There are a handful of people that I’ve gotten to know in the last year or so that I value so very much. These folks are Today People – believe in doing shit today, not tomorrow, and WOW has it dovetailed nicely with where I’m at.

For instance, tonight after house church we were talking around the kitchen table, and I said I really hoped tomorrow worked out so that I could finally get some serious alone time (which I sorely need).
My friend asked, “What could possibly get in the way?”
I responded, “My yard project.”
“Your yard will be there Monday, Tuesday, or so on… If alone time is a priority, make it happen tomorrow.”

Point taken. Point received like a tall glass of lemonade when I’m really thirsty from yard work.

The past several blogs have been born from this new perspective thanks to experiencing death and gaining a very clear perspective.

Aside from grandpa there are a few other passings.

A few weeks ago my wife’s uncle passed, and at the funeral my future sister in-law treated my son like a second class citizen. Matter of fact, the only person I know for certain who has mistreated my 22 month old son is his future aunt. My response: Forgive her, have a blunt and peace-seeking conversation with my wife’s brother. But to make sure that I don’t fume over the event and truly move on, I had to remove her and him as facebook friends. Had to lop it off.

In the coming days or weeks I have an uncle who will pass. As I write he literally on his death bed. It’s rocked the world of my aunt, and it’s been an unexpected turn of events. Once again the death perspective renews its strength and focus.

I also have found that it’s easier to peacefully disengage with friends of my past who I’ve been trying to hang on to. Why exert that much energy on a relationship that leaves me feeling belittled after each interaction? Today I went through my AIM, Facebook and cell phone lists and lopped off 20 or so people whom I should have stopped chasing a long time ago. I pray for peace in their lives, but I don’t need to be hindered by the ignorance and indifference of former friends who aren’t very friendly anymore. Time to move on.

In the month or so since we buried my grandpa I’ve kicked all kinds of ass on my big To Do List. Today I hired a sweet old man from craigslist to come over with his hoss of a tiller to till up a section of my backyard. I spent the afternoon literally on my hands and knees in fresh dirt, prepping the freshly tilled earth for new grass seed. We will seed tomorrow, and in a few weeks we will have reclaimed 1/4 of our total back yard for the kiddies to play in.

Redoing my office was a big job that was inspired by grandpa’s death: Just get it done – all that shit that has been in the “some day I should….” part of my brain. By winter I will have new carpet. Don’t know how I will afford it, but it will happen.

I have 6 songs I am working on finishing, one is a song that was inspired a few years ago by my grandparents. It’s a bluegrass song called “When God Called The Saints Back To Heaven.” Again, a fire has been lit under my ass to just get it done.

Aside from the project/people-oriented stuff, I’m just soaking in all kinds of wonder and little things every day lately. I tell my 22 month old son “I love you” every day at least a dozen times. I’m doing a ton of yard work lately. I’m running again. When I’m out and about, I’m literally prowling for ways to help or be kind to strangers. I give myself more grace. I take advantage of being self-employed and go for mid-day walks. I am shedding the Impostor Dan more and more when talking with people by way of being honest about who I am and what my intentions are. Life!

Point is, I have to give thanks to God for this season of death because it’s caused me to rethink a ton of stuff, and act on it.

b-bye iPhone

I am an unapologetic Apple fanboy.

My home is an all-Mac, all-Apple home. My son has probably heard rumors of Windows, but not used a Windows OS. Hope he doesn’t have to be subject to that inefficient black hole.

Last September I took the plunge and bought an iPhone 3G after being really unhappy with Cincinnati Bell’s call quality. Lots of dropped calls, mouth-breathers for tech support, and devices that had “lowest bidder” written all over them – I was happy to join the ranks of iPhone users and be part of yet another innovation from Apple.

All was going so well until August 1st, 2009, which is around the time when Apple released iPhone OS 3.0.1, which has a security patch. That’s when the dropped-calls-polluza began.

At one point I had 5 dropped calls in a single conversation with my biggest client, no less. I called AT&T and they ran diagnostics while bemoaning Apple’s product construction. Their conclusion: Not an AT&T problem.

So I called Apple. Same rap – not their problem, it’s an AT&T network issue.

I then made a call to my local AT&T store and talked with a very nice guy, Andy, who talked with me like someone who understood the impact of a bad device in business. We set up a 2pm appointment for Tuesday.

Yesterday (Tues.) at 2pm I showed up, and was greeted by a frumpy blonde who just looooooves her job. She couldn’t have been snarkier or more uninviting, so I dismissed her and began working with her co-worker. He was decent, but not a businessman. We figured out a plan of action – for my wife to take over the iPhone and for me to get a very stripped down phone that could just be used for calls. Simple enough.

Only… they didn’t have the phone I wanted in stock. I took it as a sign when my sales dude was pretty indifferent about the situation I was in.

Disgruntled, I hopped in my SUV, called my wife and asked where the nearest Verizon was. I wanted to see what their plans were these days and maybe, just maybe break my AT&T contract and make the jump.

I walked into Verizon, was greeted professionally by a non-pushy sales guy, and was introduced to Ben. This guy, Ben, is a guy who understands business. We talked as adults, he actually listened, and as I considered my situation of being made a fool by AT&T and Apple’s blame game, I made the jump.

Within an hour I was no long an iPhone user, and instead walked out using a stripped-down Nokia that does one thing right: Makes phone calls without dropping them.

Don’t get me wrong – the iPhone is a device that truly changed the game in mobile. I have no doubt that in a matter of a year or so I will be designing branded apps, etc. for iPhone or other rip-offs. But the one thing Apple went horribly wrong on was only allowing AT&T service their device. When you take competition out of the mix, mediocrity is always the result. No exceptions.

I hope to return to Apple’s device some day, but it won’t be until they let a reputable company service their device.

lessons learned from mike vick

I have mixed feelings regarding the Michael Vick dog abuse, prison time, release, and re-employment into the NFL. I think this highly-publicized story has implications about where I am at with regard to forgiveness in light of my following of Jesus.

As a dog person I’m sick about Vick. Until 1990, when I became a high school freshman, I dreamed of being a vet and working to rehab animals. I love dogs. My business’ biggest client is a dog and cat food supplement manufacturer. We own a rescued border collie, and previous to him we owned a special needs silky terrier. I cannot fathom training dogs to fight to the death.

Yet I can fathom others doing this because not everyone is a dog lover. Some are repulsed by them, and others see them as simply a utilitarian animal akin to a work horse or donkey.

That Vick was found out, tried, found guilty, sentenced, served his time, and was reinstated by the NFL for employment gives me mixed feelings, though where my gut tells me to go is an opinion that is not shared by too many.

Firstly, is not America a place for second chances? Even if you’re the royalist of f-ups, isn’t part of the American Dream the ability to screw up, pay your debt to society and have the freedom to start your life anew? If not, then what is a prison sentence’s use? what does “paying your debt to society” actually mean if one cannot get beyond stuff they may be genuinely remorseful of?

I can’t know the gut of another man to know if his remorse is genuine, so I can’t say harsh judgmental statements about him. I can’t wish him to be unemployed, treated like the animals he abused, punished further, or worse.

Sometimes I read the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery who was brought to him as sort of the big “Ah Ha!” moment for the religious leaders to catch him in a theological trap to prove he was not legit. The onlookers, clergy and everyday Joe’s, were more than ready not just to stone her, but say all kinds of harsh things about her. Our culture – even or especially within the Church – is not much different now than back then. It was adultery then, but now it’s a football star who did something terrible over and over. It was a tax collector back then, and now it’s a CEO of “big business.” It was leprosy then and now it’s HIV or AIDS. Back then it was stoning on-site, now it’s the death-by-government machine that we call Capital Punishment – we’re soooo humane.

So that’s what I’ve been chewing on from the Mike Vick story. How easy it is to judge another man for something that is currently socially deplorable. Yet even he is pursued and loved by God, and who the hell am I to say a single word about a fellow prodigal son?

ramblings from my make-believe cottage…

I can’t help but snicker at how during the W administration it was an act of innocent free speech for all kinds of Americans to call W a Nazi or Hitler. Yet when Obama rolls out a series of policies that are historically in line with those of the National Socialist Party – you know, what the Nazi Party started out as – and historically knowledgeable citizens call him and his minions on it, these people are somehow un-American.

This is why I do not put my faith in a country, a political power, an office, or a flag. I have no allegiance to these things. A soldier, a country, a political agenda, a social program cannot offer Living Water. Only Jesus can – he said it himself: He’s the only way to God. By saying that he not only called out all other religions, but all other paths to false fulfillment. Someone who says that kind of thing is worth engaging to see what he is talking about.

It’s been a great week for music! Finally downloaded my first August Burns Red album, their latest. And then a good friend directed me to Cloudkicker. As a lifelong metal fan, both finds are welcome additions to my eclectic collection.

A friend posted a verse about “whitewashed tombs,” and it gave me pause for reflection on how that is precisely what I want to avoid becoming. It’s so freaking easy, too.

Sometimes there are simple meetings with people that change your life, and I had one yesterday. I met with a client that I’m doing a web site for, and he worked with me on a few things for his site. He thought I was doing him all sorts of benefits for the various improvements to his site, but he was actually the one helping me. I’ve had an idea brewing for a new company for a while, and this meeting put it all together in my head for me. Now I have to figure out if this new concept will really be a new company or a side-service for my existing company. I’m thinking the former because I really think business owners and managers like to work with specialists. More – much more – on this later.

My mind is so scattered lately – lots of things flying around in this brain of mine. Wish I had a small cottage in the countryside of northern IL where I could go retreat for a few days alone, and have my fam join me later in the week. I long for an even simpler life than the one I have, which is really simple.

Finally – last evening my wife, son and I visited the wake of my wife’s great-uncle whom was somewhat of a childhood grandfather figure to her. Since my grandpa was also that figure to her, it’s tough for her to have lost both in a month. But while we were there we had the obligatory stop and chat with her brother and his fiance. Right now my wife and those two people are not on good terms. Family drama. But it doesn’t involve me or my son. I had Garrett wave “Hi” to the fiance, and upon seeing it she turned her head to look away, scowling. When she later rose to walk away I told Garrett, “Say hi to your future Aunt _____,” and again she strained her head to look away, with the now familiar scowl.

Today it is taking a lot of self-control to not call my wife’s brother and ask what that was all about – how Garrett, a 21 month old toddler, has anything to do with their drama. I don’t get it. What really sucks is that my family live 6 hours away, and I have a brother who actually wants to be part of his nephew’s life, unlike the 30 year old self-absorbed child living near by. I have extended family up there, too, that want to be in the picture. Not so here. If we didn’t have such strong connections with our house church family, I’d be bringing the pressure to move to IL.

But that last part is the cool thing – we DO have strong home church family here, and I am “filthy rich” in meaningful relationships right now. Praise God.

finding therapy

This journey through grief is turning out to reveal a few methods of finding therapy in places I wouldn’t have otherwise prepared for.

Over the last week or so I’ve seen my counselor and talked about the raw shock of losing grandpa so quickly. It was nice to have that resource already in place. But then I also immediately went to work on two projects at home.

The first was to redo my office space. Phase one: Painting. I spent a lot of time at stores finding the shades I wanted, took home a few $4 samples, went through multiple palettes until I found just the right colors. It turned out to be a three-color scheme for this smallish cape cod bedroom I occupy for an office. Painting is therapy, it turns out, because to do it right there are a lot of steps. Prep work, alone, is busy work – taping off the areas, cleaning baseboards, and getting 2 coats on because I only paint using flat finish (walls were never supposed to be shiny).

So that took up the better part of a week with several days in between to do actual work for my biz.

I also began getting a few things in place for the back yard revamp. For the last year we have gone through several plans on what to do, each one out of reach due to expense. And yet we host friends and Home Church enough that our back yard should get more use than it currently does. So I began to do a few things with resources we already had, and then discovered a store called Home Emporium, which is like Big Lots for big box home improvement stores. There I found the retaining wall materials that we’ll get working on next weekend.

Saturday I spent a considerable amount of time simply trimming, mowing, blowing, hauling, shoveling, and organizing. I was toast by day’s end, and it felt REALLY good.

Labor is therapy for me.

Unfortunately as I sit here now I feel a summer cold coming on. I loathe colds, and how they really shut me down for around 2 weeks. There’s usually some good to be found in them, though. I am the eternal optimist.

All this to say that while I grieve and have bouts of deep depression, I am also finding a great deal of happy surprises in the work and chores where helpful therapy is found.

a few thoughts on community

While out walking last night I was thinking about community, and how the term is bandied around so much these days in public service, social networking, and The Church. Specifically my mind focused on context – that most of the voices (public servants, politicians, social networking sites, and ministries) are based out of urban centers, however big or small.

There is a lot of talk in megachurches, town halls, facebook and linkedin chats, etc. about community, and to me the common thread is that people want to be around other people and like each other. Perfectly natural.

Yet in most urban and suburban settings I see community formed by setting times and events based around common relationships to hobbies, beliefs, etc. Again, however big or small these events may be, the point is that most often community is being formed by way of setting time aside for an event of some scale in urban and suburban areas.

When my grandpa passed away, and the wake and funeral were commenced one thing stood out to me: The number of people that came, and once again I was reminded of what growing up in a small town is like. It was a rare occasion to stop by my grandparents’ house and not see other visitors either already there, or stopping by soon after I got there. This is not uncommon in small towns.

So as my mind continued to develop a layman’s analysis of what the aforementioned urban/suburban efforts toward community are really trying to achieve, I kept thinking of how much this sought-after aspect is what makes small towns so appealing for those who stick around. Community – real community – is what keeps small towns intact.

I think it’s quite fascinating that urban/suburban community groups are often seeking – with great effort – what small towns have so naturally.

The catch, as I see it, is that the kind of lasting community found in small towns comes with sacrifices. Time is probably the biggest of them all. Can’t have community without spending time – a lot of time – with people. Often, it’s just talking or doing a common chore like breaking green beans on a summer afternoon, or cleaning up together (garbage, dishes) after a winter dinner. With all that time being used up, who has time to blog (zing!), shop, tweet, vlog, or other things we love in our urban/suburban “communities”?

As I type I can’t say I know what the point is to all of this just yet. For now, just analytical thoughts on the topic of community, and I am quite willing to allow my mind to be molded by others’ thoughts on the topic. For now I’m just going to try and extract some of the things I learned growing up in a small town, and try – somehow – to apply them to my current circumstances.

Vomit from my mind

I feel like I have a “functional Dan” operating all this week. He says words, he works, he maintains relationships, and today upgraded to reinstalling the Exercise Program back into the hard drive. Yet inside I am in a haze.

To say that I miss my grandpa would not quite cover this emotion. It’s new to me – I don’t know the word or words to describe.

A few thoughts…

Had a brief but interesting conversation with a friend about Evolution and Creationism. I am one of those whackjob Creationists. I believe God created the universe and Earth in 6 literal days. Not “1 million days = 1 day to God” but 1 literal day. I stopped debating this with not-yet-Jesus followers a while back because I can understand how trivial this seems in light of what I should be caring about.

But I’ve kept on talking with other Jesus followers because I like a good debate.

Anyway, my friend believes in the “1 million days = 1 day to God” thing, so I asked him if it took 6 million years (or “days” in God Time according to him), did God then rest for 1 million years on the seventh God Day?

Silence.

The way I see it, if you’re going to believe in something just believe and don’t get all nuance and fine-line about it. This is the shit that makes me sigh.

Good transition.

I was talking to another friend about swearing. I cuss. A lot. Too much, I think, at times. Not because I think the words are bad – I don’t – but because it belittles my lexicon. I was thinking about this lately because when I saw my grandpa he’d sometimes call me a “shit head” or some other swear-laden nickname. On the other hand, at the wake and funeral last week I was told things like “it’s good to see you” by a few people whom I know were thinking the exact opposite, as proved by their actions later. So which is worse in God’s ear: A nickname with “shit” in it which is love language, or the sharp tongue of someone who has an ill will toward you?

Give me truth in whatever words. The packaging doesn’t matter, which is sort of ironic for me to say and believe that.

Barak Obama and this current Congress are really making me sad. I gave up on America when this nation voted a guy because of how “historic” his race made his election. And now we get what we get – a leader who is blatantly ignoring myriad lessons history should teach a leader of his esteem. Yet the beat goes on.

If he and congress get their way the private insurance my family buys for ourselves will be driven out of the market. We buy an HSA as a private policy. Both HSAs and private policies will be made illegal for new sale if Obamacare gets passed. With no more demand, my rates will go up, causing me to look elsewhere for my family’s healthcare.

Take a look at the CARS program. This is why govt. should be small on all levels. This is why I am drawn to Anarchy.

Other than a few angry veins I am otherwise really ok with life as a whole. I miss my grandpa. Business is going really well – small businesses are thriving right now in a lot of cases. We’re getting ready to do a lot of painting inside – can’t wait! Life is good. Really good.