Filed under: life
“Glad I’m not the only one…”
I’ve never understood the comfort some people find in knowing their “not alone” in some circumstance. Such knowledge does nothing for me. I actually find it annoying when someone starts their advice-giving with “Well, Dan, the first thing you should know is that you’re not alone in this…” I just don’t get it.
Maybe it’s just the phrasing because I do enjoy receiving advice from people whom have journeyed through a situation or circumstance that I now face. I value the input from their successes and mistakes. But being alone in what I face is what I expect.
I feel like I am at a major intersection of life right now. I won’t write about it here, but suffice to say that I have a heavy weight on me right now, and am not 100% sure how to unload it at my King’s feet.
Filed under: life
A while back I put this blog into password-protect mode because I needed some time to decide what to do with this here blog. The problem is this: I’m in a formative and manic time of life. The swings are extreme – one week I am riding the clouds, the next my thoughts are darker than I ever could have imagined them to be.
It’s the latter times that give me pause on whether to continue this blog, or start another – anonymously – to jot down the very dark things that cross my head, not to mention the very serious problems that have cropped up.
A good friend, and brother in Christ, Chris told me a few weeks ago how he likens our house church to more than just the format of meeting in houses. Rather the model itself is much like a house: The front porch is where you meet your neighbors, keep conversation light and decide who you can trust to let further into your house. The backyard is much the same – parties, light conversation, but in that setting you might let your kids and neighbor kids play safely. Inside the home is the living room and family room – deeper conversations happen there, and you become a bit more vulnerable and transparent to actual friends. You get the idea of how a house is built with layers that we all understand. The deeper into the house, the more you’re willing to be known. The bedroom is probably the most intimate place for relationships, where you are really known. Too many intimate relationships leads to really bad stuff. None can be really lonely and equally destructive.
So where does a frig’n blog fit?
My thoughts are in the category of None Of The Above. I seem incapable of producing a post that is light or without some dimension of angst. Yet I don’t want this to be purely a venting area.
So… silence. That’s where I am resolved to keep this thing. Seems the most appropriate. In the meantime I’ve discovered F*** My Life (.com) as an entertaining place to let some stuff go, and read how others are doing the same.
I should also mention that in the past I have usually had to go to my blog or online/distant friends for venting, whereas now I have real, authentic, very meaningful friendships. As the same Chris from above has said “I am filthy rich in community and real friendships.” I am. Thank you, God… I am. So I guess it’s not all bad that I need to keep this area of my life quiet for a while.
