danielredbeard’s weblog

I cannot get the tune “Laid to Rest” out of my mind. The band is The Showdown, and once again I’m addicted to their first project. The second one, not so much. But I just read they are about to release a new project, so maybe they’ve returned to form. Hope so.

It’s fitting, though: I am as ready to lay this week to rest as any week I’ve lived to-date.

So my douchebag blurb of a blog was just a summary of a flurry of douchebag activity. I realized that it was a full moon that day, so at least I closed the day with an explanation.

A theme of “unfair” emerged throughout the week. I know I’ll re-read this some day and think, “Man-up little girl! Don’t be such a cry baby… life’s not fair.” But “unfair” has been the theme of the week nonetheless.

It began by a heaviness that I sensed for a handful of guys I know whom seem weighed down by life right now. In each case these guys are plodding through their lives, unsatisfied, towing the line, dreaming of and talking about something else, all while putting themselves second in terms of plans. It’s both admirable and depressing.

Speaking of depressing, what got me thinking of these guys was that I’ve been trying to connect with 3 of them for the last 2 weeks, and in each case my expectations have been lowered. It’s gone from “let’s hang out” to “call me” via voice mail. I confess that it caused me to be kind of pissed that so many of the people I really value are tied up in “stuff” that we can’t even have a conversation. After I got past my selfish agenda, the burden was born, and still today I’m praying for these guys’ journey, having come through my own recently – onto something quite different.

Self-employment is probably the toughest work I’ve done to-date. Prior to this it was my summer working for a concrete construction crew. That was back-breaking labor. This, however, is “work” in the sense of it being a tax in just about every conceivable area.When a prospect declines a proposal or if a client doesn’t take my advice, it stings more than working for the man. Not having an office outside the home takes a special kind of person, too, but I am not complaining. At all.

That I get to be at home working with my wife and 8.5 month old son is something that humbles me daily. I just changed a diaper, and while I was doing it Garrett peed on me. Bulls-eye between my legs so it looked like I was the one whom had just peed himself. After cleaning it up I took note of the smell of a fresh diaper on the cleaned-up boy. I thought to myself: This is not to be taken for granted. Even the smells of a baby should be appreciated and soaked up for every ounce of goodness they represent. Yes, even those smells.

I heard a radio duo talking about The Wiggles last week so I googled them, and watched a few vids with Garrett on my lap. I now can’t get “Hot Potato, Hot Potato” (or whatever it’s called) out of my head. Those guys had better be out of style by the time Garrett can have an interest. Or I could just do what a few of my friends have decided to do: That their kids will not listen or watch the made-for-kids stuff on TV/internet like The Wiggles, BluesClues, etc. Instead, they’ll just absorb life like humans have done for a few thousand years prior to television and the Interwebs.

I want to see Bret Favre as a Chicago Bear.

Finally, it’s been almost a full year since I saw a movie in a theater. Last one was Transformers. But The Dark Knight sure does look tempting, and most of the reviews I trust are going ape-shit over it. Looking forward to that going to DVD very sooon – perhaps Christmas?