Filed under: life
When I am part of something I really believe in or is of great importance, my quality of loyal-to-a-fault really shines. Not that loyalty is always taken out to something of fault, but my loyalty to something or someone really does trump shame in a lot of scenarios.
Such was earlier this week.
Two nights ago we had a poop crisis. Garrett had been plugged up for four days, and was doing a lot of pushing and grunting. It was the making of his first “real” BM. After several rounds of periodic Gripe Water (our savior), I took him up to my office where a man can be alone to do business.
Sure enough, he started grunting and smelled the fruit of his labor. After a pat on the back and congratulatory accolades, I took him downstairs for a change of diaper. To my surprise only the turtle-head (or marker tip…whatever) had come out!
At this point he began to grunt again, screaming and crying, as though a hot coal was coming through. With only the front part of the diaper detached (thankfully), I saw it.
A 6″ long turd was produced right in front of my eyes. Garrett was screaming, I was in awe, Andrea was… actually, where the heck was she?!?… anyway, it was mildly chaotic. By the time the whole thing had exited, Garrett was a sweaty, crying, screaming mess. The only thing that concerned us was a single drop of blood in the loaf. But a call to Mother Melissa assured us that all was normal. The first real BM was over, and now we looked forward to stinky stuff.
In other news…
Last night I got my first ticket in a long time. Didn’t see the “no right turn on red” sign. Turned right in front of a parked po-po, and got the $75. I tried to drop that I am the brother of a cop, but to no avail. We even had all the windows rolled down with Garrett crying to try and get a sympathy pass. No good. I’ll be paying my $75 like everyone else.
